In an age of so many opportunities, schedules, communication and advancing technology, it is easy not to celebrate success as it occurs. There is always going to be something new to learn, something else to strive for, a new phase to immerse yourself into, a new milestone to complete, something better, something more important, the next competition to try and win. There is always more, and to use an old analogy, there always seems to be that unreachable carrot dangling at the end of the stick. There is always more, and it is easy to feel unfulfilled and to not quite appreciate successes as they occur.
Coaching has been a great teacher of life for me personally. Of the many things I have learned as I have slowly progressed along my coaching development pathway, is that success must be defined very clearly. Success means different things, to different people, at different levels of competition, in different arenas, and at different times and stages.
Invariably, success in sports is portrayed as winning. It could be winning a game, a Cup, or some other tangible achievement. But as a coach, I have come to realise that success occurs all the time and in countless, infinite even, forms and are not always as clear cut as one may expect.
Lets put aside the stereotype of a player or team holding a trophy for now. Lets focus on the player who has been working on a particular facet of their game, lets say their passing. During a particular game, this player threads through a quality pass that leads to a goalscoring opportunity. No goal comes of it, and the players team loses 3-0. Is there success in this example that can be celebrated by the coach, players parent and the player themselves? Or do we ignore this achievement and write off the day due to the final result?
A Goalkeeper who shows signs of being shy and lacks confidence. During a training session, something clicks and he begins communicating loudly and being assertive with his players. Would you consider this a success? Or would it be easy to dismiss it as the team loses all of their competitive games and hey, that’s just a training session.
My third example relates to a season where the team lost every game by a considerable margin. Not a great situation I can tell you. But success is everywhere and opportunities to succeed abound even in the most unlikely of scenarios. The team showed up every training session, and to every game. The players fought hard and never gave up no matter the situation. The players formed friendships which continue to this day. Are there successes to be found in this example?
These are just 3 examples, but as you can imagine I could go on and on. No need though, as my answer to the above examples and others is YES. They are successes. In the context of team sports, every time a player tries something, regardless of outcome and if nurtured correctly, it is a success. Every time a player arrives to training on time, that is a success. Every time a player trains with focus and intensity, that is a success. Every time a player shows responsibility, resilience and team work, that is success. So many different types of successes which are easy to miss at the time, but so very important. These successes, lead to many of the benefits of why we want children to participate in team sports to begin with. It is not the once a year holding a trophy moment that only a few get to taste that will shape the lives of the children who play sports. It is the compilation of countless successes along the way that we need to realise are the true shapers of a persons development. That pass, that tackle, that friendship, that moment of kindness, that effort to get back and defend when the team needed them. These are all versions of success.
I recently travelled interstate for a tournament with a wonderful team of 10 players. For those of you who have travelled for sporting competitions, these tournaments provide wonderful opportunities for player development and experience. There are usually many teams who travel with the intention of winning the tournament, and invariably there are many talented players. So, my point is that not every one of these good teams can win the tournament. That should not mean that of the 12 teams who competed in this age group, that only 1 would consider this tournament a success. On the first night, I gathered the team for the first of our daily meetings, and asked them to write on a Whiteboard what they believed would be considered success at this tournament. The answers varied and were many, and they included: Making friends, trying our best, working together, becoming better players, not giving up, setting a good example for others and so on. Yes, winning the tournament was on the whiteboard. But only once, and it could barely be seen once the 20 odd other descriptions of success were scribbled in messy handwriting around it. What was clear on this whiteboard, was that these 11 and 12 year old boys had a wonderful understanding of breaking down successes into achievable goals and clearly defining what success meant to them. And winning the tournament was only one of many. Not winning the tournament was definitely not going to deem the tournament a success or failure. Rather, it was one of many factors which would deem the tournament as a success.
I wonder if I had done the same with the players parents, what the whiteboard would have looked like? That is another story of course, and one that will be covered at a later stage. But do parents own expectations and definitions of success affect the children who participate in an activity? At the tournament I described previously, and might I add with no parents present at the team meeting, one could argue that this might be the case in some situations.
In conclusion, I will reiterate that everyone’s version of success will be different, and will evolve and change over time. Success is definitely not just winning and losing, it is the baby steps along the way. We don’t wait until a child is running the 100 metres winning the 1st Place Ribbon to celebrate they have learned to walk. We clap and cheer every moment, from the first crawl, to the first step. No one knows what will happen later, but we celebrate the countless successes that happen each and every day.
Success is everywhere. It is up to us to define, embrace and most importantly, celebrate and enjoy it.
